For example . . . My husband unexpectedly announces to me one evening that he'd like to treat me to a Starbucks beverage of my choice. I gleefully begin to anticipate this treat. Later, however, after grocery shopping and spending more than projected, he somberly tells me that it would no longer be a wise idea to go for the Starbucks treat that evening. I wilt and it is apparent, and I immediately felt guilty for desiring something that was beyond our means. As I put away the groceries, I casually hint that we will be paid our next paychecks soon, so we might be able to manage one small drink from my favorite place. He then reminds me of the amount of days until that time and of how much we just spent at the grocery store. Again, I am deflated. Then he decided that he would check our bank account transaction register to see what our balance would be after the deduction of the groceries, but continues to insist on our lack of money. After checking, he realizes that we are well in the green and that it wouldn't hurt us too much to get a couple of hot drinks. Meanwhile, I'd already begun to shut-down, telling myself that I must let go of the excitement of a longing fulfilled. But then he tells me that we can afford it, even though he had just convinced me that it was too much for us. I told him that I didn't want the drink anymore because of the guilt I was feeling about wanting this "expensive" simple pleasure! And then he became upset because I was upset and then we were both mad and then the drink was no longer the issue! Ultimately, I was convinced that we would have enough money for a simple Starbucks beverage and that is why I became upset when he changed his mind about "treating" me to this small luxury that he had tempted me with. And he, ultimately, was only trying to be consciencious about our finances! No one was wrong here . . . we just didn't clearly point out what the real issue was: money and a simple commitment to follow through with what was anticipated.
So, my conclusion is simply that we - as in human-kind - fight as a result of words unsaid. Because men and woman think so differently, men cannot interpret what women insinuate and women cannot seem to express themselves in words that men comprehend without a buildup of unspoken words - emotions. It seems that women tend to show what they mean and men tend to do what they mean. Again, no one is at fault. But I believe that if we can learn to try and think from the perspective of our respective mates, then we all might get along just a little bit better! 
I am, by no means, any kind of doctor, scientist, sociologist, phsyciatrist, therapist, or even philosopher . . . so this may all amount to nothing. It is simply my interpretation, my understanding, my observation. Take it for what its worth and do with it what you will.
Wait! Let me also throw this in there . . . I do think that it is healthy to fight - that we need to fight (not physically - duh) to truly get to know one another better - in any relationship. To fight is merely to have a disagreement and to talk about different aspects of the issue until a common ground or resolution is found (my definition). I know that when I look at couples, older couples, people who have been married for, like, over 50 years, that they have gone through some good fights, ups and downs, to get to that point. And I see it as admirable, lovely, beautiful to grow a love that endures through it all. That's where I see me and my husband down the road . . . in a love that grows deeper throughout all of the fights, gaining a greater understanding of each other for the rest of our lives.
Where have you come from? Clearly you are not from this dark place in which I often reside. No . . . you are different. I do not recognize you as someone I know. I have not ever known someone like you. You aren't like the rest who came before, who once inhabited this somber place.
Your light shines so bright, so bright that I am afraid . . . but I am drawn. I want to come near to you, to know you and to become secure around you. Then I fear you and doubt that this could be real because the darkness pulls and fights to keep me down. And I decided, after the last mirage passed, that I had stopped believing in brightness altogether.
I know that to be near you is to be up and to be filled with your same brightness. I know that if you would consider staying in this place then I would have to change. Ultimately, I think this is what I fear most. This darkness that has enveloped me has had me convinced that change was not something that I was capable of.
Somehow your light shined its way into this hard, black place that is my heart. I don't understand why you would want to stay, but because you have, I just might have something to hold onto, to believe in and trust again. The fear is still real, but the light is more powerful than the dark and this is a glimmer of hope.
I had given up on friendships because my heart had been crushed so many times before. With no faith in recovery, I surrendered to dispair and the darkness swallowed me whole. Thank you for showing me that I can love and be loved once again and maybe for real this time. I have no further reason for looking down at my feet because your light shines ahead of me, differentiating black and white, dark and light, renewing the colors I thought I'd never see. Your true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow. Shine on, bright light, shine on.
I absolutely love taking pictures. Not in the professional, make-money-for-your-pictures kind of way, but the relaxed, still, "Kodak Moments" of life that can be captured and frozen in time. It's poetic, really, to take a picture and suspend a moment. The moment can be recaptured again and again whenever it is revisited. Whenever I take pictures, I know that I am snapping little shots of the intricate details of my life that I can review again and again as reminders of who I am and where I've been and things I've done and people I've spent time with.
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