Earthquakes

Last night, while my husband was at church, I was home, sitting at my scrapbooking desk, playing as usual. At 8:04pm, I heard a rumble - I couldn't tell where it was coming from, but it was getting louder, closer. Then my heart skipped a beat as everything around me began to shake. It took me a minute to register . . . I was feeling an earthquake. I slowly got up and moved to stand in the door frame of the room. From that spot, I watched the hanging pots and pans bang against each other, wondering if they would all come crashing down. They didn't. It was over so fast! Literally, all of this happened in mere seconds! I felt a few slight tremors afterwards, but nothing was so great as the first.


I suppose this time I was able to revel in the experience more because I was not so fearful. It was unpleasant to be alone, sure, but I was not afraid that this was the end-all. Actually, I was kind of excited that I got to feel that crazy rush of adrenaline. I am thankful that no one was hurt and that nothing was damaged. The earthquake registered as a 5.6 on the Richter-Scale. (The large blue box is the one I'm talking about.)

A few of my latest creations . . .

A fun collage! I kind of just threw this stuff on there - not super organized, but it works.

This is a more recent creation, using pictures from last year when we went with Simon and Andrea to the Corn Maze out in Tracy, CA. I got the supplies together, as a kit, and ended up just making it my own. I'm very pleased with it - the 'messy' look is so in right now!

Wall art! We got a new bedroom comforter set, so we needed something matching to hang on the wall. I got this idea from a magazine - decoupage a 12x12 canvas with a 12x12 piece of patterned paper. I added a few accents, such as ribbons and some embellishments, like the little mirrors and tiny rhinestones.

This also came as a kit - an 8 1/2 x 11 canvas with the black stand. The picture is from our camping trip this past summer with Simon and Andrea to Burney Falls. It was taken at a view point on our way back home. Everything was so beautiful!

Humor me. This is a bulletin board that I've owned since I was in junior high or something! I got this idea from a magazine as well: display all brads and 'doo-dads' on a bulletin board so that when you're scrapbooking, all you have to do is just look on the board to find what you need (as opposed to going thorough tons of tiny plastic storage containers one at a time!). Believe it or not, this isn't even all of my brads . . . this is a project I'm still working on! The ribbon around the outside was my little way of disguising how messed up the edges of the board have become. The small purple plaque above it was a gift from my mom. It says: "Life isn't about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." I couldn't agree more!!

Mondays

Waking is harder
The body is slower
The coffee is warmer
The car is colder

The tasks are greater
Co-workers are moodier
Employers are meaner
Business is tougher

The day is busier
The sun shines brighter
The traffic is messier
The commute is longer

The evening is shorter
Time passes faster
Fatigue sets in quicker
Mondays end later

Monday is the hardest day of the week . . .

The Willing

"We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

I saw this quote today on the wall of a small camera repair shop. I laughed when I first read it, thinking of those poor old men working 'behind the scenes' of that little repair shop, assuming that they were feeling cynical about their clientele. The gentleman behind the counter explained to me that this was a quote from the Marines - who apparently receive the least amount of funding in the Navy. The old men working in the back weren't cynical after all.

So I broke it down:

"We, the willing . . . " = anyone with the drive or the desire to serve

" . . . led by the unknowing . . . " = leaders without a clue

" . . . are doing the impossible . . . " = accomplishing something that has never been done

" . . . for the ungrateful . . . " = those who don't acknowledge the sacrifice being made by the willing

"We have done so much for so long with so little . . . " = being frugal and still getting by

" . . . we are now qualified to do anything with nothing . . . " = attaining the confidence that it is possible to create something from nothing

It seems to me that the "willing" become independent from the "unknowing" and "ungrateful." The "willing" learn to accomplish the "impossible" by doing "so much for so long with so little." I admire the willing. I admire those who are willing to take on the challenge dispite the unknowing or the ungrateful. I admire those who have become qualified to do anything with nothing - I believe that you can't truly understand that without having gone through challenges of your own and overcoming them.

Have you learned to do "anything with nothing?" Have you ever done the "impossible?"

A New Start

I am so excited to be living again! I have fueled my passion - I feel invigorated and renewed!

A few years ago, when scrapbooking became more than just a hobby for me, I was introduced to a whole new world of paper-crafting creativity. As I began to discover more about this art, I ventured into different aspects such as direct selling, attending classes, and hosting classes. Throughout my journey, there is one place that I would consider a sanctuary for anyone who could appreciate this sort of crafting: "My Daughter's Wish." This retail boutique is unique because of the variety in it's inventory, the creative sample projects displayed, and the overall colorful atmosphere (there is PURPLE everywhere - my favorite color!!). In my mind, this has been the place where inspiration begins and flourishes. The possibilities seemed boundless. However, I never believed that I could truly be a part of that level of paper-crafting, scrapbooking, card-making sort of genius. It was always so high above me; it always seemed so much greater than anything I could ever hope to create or be a part of. I didn't believe that my quality of crafting would ever be equivalent to the greatness that I saw in this place. I thought that I could only ever be an admirer from afar.

This is me in front of "My Daughter's Wish" - at its original location in downtown Walnut Creek. This picture was taken about a year ago.

I have come to respect my created projects in a new light over the past few months. I see more clearly now the areas where I can succeed and I will humbly admit that there are areas where I am not artistically inclined. I am secure in my originality - this is a new feeling for me! The more I create, the more I can appreciate my work for what it is: an extension of me. This new-found confidence has led me to reconsider my feelings of inadequacy. Creativity is defined as being imaginative or characterized by originality, which means that my work is my own; no one can recreate something I have made in exactly the same way and I cannot recreate what someone else has made in their exact same way. So where is that standard I was holding myself to? Certainly a dwelling of creativity can appreciate individuality, my own included. This time, when a good friend suggested that I apply for work at "My Daughter's Wish," I finally conceded. I called in on a Tuesday to find out if they were hiring and was told to fax in my resume. The next morning, Wednesday, I got a call to come in for an interview later that day. I took some 'samples' of my work and showed them to the owner, who apparently liked them. I was hired! My first day of work was Friday of that same week.

The moral of the story: I'm learning to believe in myself. Its hard to be confident when you hold yourself to someone else's standard of creativity. I value that I am unique. I can stand out on my own. As cliche as it sounds, I've learned that I can be proud of whatever I can create because I have put a part of myself within it. I've got a cute sign (that my mom gave me) hanging on the wall above my crafting desk that says, "Life isn't about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." I couldn't agree more. I'm so excited for this chance to start anew working for a company that values what I am fond of, that supports my goals, and encourages further creativity! This truly is my 'dream job!'

Imagine a Beautiful Release . . .

"I need some distraction

or a beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

let me be empty

and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight"

"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan

Days come and go; the years fly by. If only there were some distraction . . . something appealing enough to interrupt and slow down the day, enticing us to pause and reflect. If only there were some kind of beautiful release . . . a freedom with a subtle power great enough to covertly inflict awe and incite change. It would be like one massive, unified exhale whispering to the world that it is time to relax. Fresh air. Spring flowers. The smell of the first rain. Lightning. Changing leaves. Snow flakes. Sunny days. Trees swaying in the breeze. It would be as if all of the peace in nature were bound together in a package of beauty for us to see with a brand new appreciation we've never known. It would be a pure and unadulturated refreshment.

Scrap That!

. . . as in "throw out and start over!"

THIS is (was) my sanctuary! My small corner of the world where I am safe and free to be as creative as I want to be! Tucked in a little nook in our bedroom, I have created an art studio of my own. It is peaceful, private, comfortable and FULL of SCRAPBOOKING SUPPLIES!! This stock of supplies is ever-growing, thus requiring constant, constructive rearrangement of the mini studio. Organization is another one of my passions, so it's entirely possible for you to come visit me twice in one week and find the entire lot redesigned! The above picture was taken on May 23rd, 2007.

Still, perfect as this nook has been for me, I have come up with a grand solution to relocate the entire studio. To combine the digital world of technology and the physical world of creativity, I have relocated my 'studio' into our 'office,' thus creating a sanctuary in which I can get it ALL done!

Here is the new space (for now!). Vertical storage suits me well! This picture was taken on 09-19-07 - a perpetual "work-in-progress!"

Now let me share with you some of the reasons why I LOVE to scrapbook! I love going through old photos and reliving those memories. There are plenty of pictures hidden in boxes that aren't yet in albums, so there is always something to put into a scrapbook! I love to tell the story behind the photos - and there is always a story to tell! I love to look back at my pictures and recall the memories with the help of what I have jotted down about the picture. It is so easy to get caught up in the "now" with all of the hustle and bustle of life that eventually the past is forgotten. The best way for me to remember where I came from and where I've been is to take pictures and to preserve those memories in scrapbooks. I also love being crafty and putting a sticker on it, a brad here or an eyelet there and then finishing it off with a fancy ribbon bow. And as I've mentioned, I love organizing all of the little crafty tools and supplies. I love cutting and tearing and taping papers. I love designing and displaying my original projects. Overall, I just love that I can express myself through what I can create. And if I am unhappy with how it all turns out, I can just scrap it!! (Hence, the title of this post!) LoL!

"For every event, from everyday to large celebrations, there will be memories made."

-Unknown-

The Door I've Seen Before

I've been here before . . .
I've walked through that door . . .

This was a place I never thought I'd have to be again.
I didn't want to come to this place - I've already been!

I thought that the first time would reverse time
and undo the damage that had become mine.

Alas, there is no cure and my body will never be pure.
It cannot repair itself; it will not endure.

So I will walk this path once more
in hope that relief awaits me behind that door.

I will be at peace because I remember this place.
It has scarred me with a memory I cannot erase.

I may come out faced with more pain
But I believe that I have more to gain.

I may never be free of this burden I bear
But no one ever said that life was fair.

I am not mad, I am not sad
I can hardly remember the first one I had.

Everything will be alright -
For this I will fight.

I will go on with my life;
This shall not bring me strife.

I have so much to be grateful for.
This will give me the courage to walk through that door.

Success

What is success? And how is it measured? Is success achieved by attaining wealth, status, happiness, contentment? As far as I can tell, success is defined differently for everyone.

I have worked in an office with wealthy attorneys whose lives are consumed by their work. They rush around all day, can't seem to ever get through that ever growing pile of papers on their desks, and generally don't seem happy. Yes, these are generalizations and there are always exceptions, but this was the most common lifestyle of the attorneys that I worked for. These attorneys are often viewed as "successful" because of their wealth and status. They have studied and labored to achieve their positions, giving themselves a sense of accomplishment.

I also know a woman whose job is to be a "full-time mom." In the morning, while everyone rushes to work, she helps her kids get ready for school, happy to be able to watch them grow up. During the day, she paints because that is her passion. Her work is beautiful because as you look at it, you can feel the joy that she had when she created it. In the afternoons she picks up her children and takes them to their various after-school activities. She watches them with pride and supports them with her love. Then she comes home to make dinner for her family because they value sharing this meal together. When she is finally ready to go to sleep at night, she still has a smile of contentment on her face because she felt that her day was successful. She has put her heart into what she does and that gives her a sense of accomplishment.

The attorneys and the mother are all successful, just in different ways. Maybe success is just being happy with where you are and what you do. Maybe success is achieving that goal, that dream of what you've always wanted to be, what you've always wanted to do. I suppose that success is always a matter of opinion and so cannot be simply defined.

Personally, I've been contemplating success because I am discovering what it means to me. It's easy to just view success in the ways that your parents (or anyone with as great of influence)view success. In my family, success was defined as graduating from college and bringing in a considerable income (you know, the typical "American-Dream" thing). But one day I realized that my view of success wasn't what it was for my parents. It wasn't easy for me to make the decision not to finish college and instead to pursue the mediocre, but happier, life that I desired. This doesn't make sense to most people because of the way society views success. Most people don't agree with success taking "lesser" forms. I understand, without question, that everyone must work for a living, as has always been the way. But "work" can also be defined as so many different things. For the attorneys, work means constant mental labor, whereas work for the mother takes the labor of the heart. Equal but different.

I want to be successful, as I am certain that everyone does, according to their personal view of success. My idea of success? It is to be happy, to be content, to be proud of what you do day-in and day-out, and to feel that sense of accomplishment that need not be recognized by anyone other than onesself. I have decided that I need to be successful according to this view. So I will do just that. I will allow my creativity to direct my ambitions in my pursuit of success. I will no longer be subject to other people's ideas of success because it is time for me to be true to myself. I am not sad that I will not be working for the law firm anymore because I see this as my opportunity to follow my passions and that will lead me to my success.